Do you want to stay with me? Or do you want me to leave?

This was my last question to him. He said nothing. He stayed quiet. For about five minutes. I asked him again, but once more, there was no response. Yes, it is indeed said that silence is like a thousand unspoken words. If he wanted to stay, he could have easily said yes. But he didn’t. It was the last conversation I had with him.

I can’t believe he is the same guy who loved me when I couldn’t love myself. He cared for me, he promised me a forever, trusted in me and supported me more than anyone ever had.

And then a year and a half later, he was irritated and told me that he couldn’t handle our relationship. After a small misunderstanding created by my so-called, “best friends”, it ruined our relationship.

My friends were the reason for our breakup.

They knew how much I loved his guy, but if you have friends like them, you genuinely don’t need enemies. They bitched behind my back and began interpreting things in a disgusting and manipulative way. They started calling me characterless and insulted me too. My boyfriend stood right there but guess what, he wasn’t standing next to me, but next to them.

After a year and a half, he didn’t trust me and instantly trusted them. It was the most painful day of my life. I stood there alone and cried. All I could do was stand there and cry. After a month of this horrific incident, he came and apologized to me. I was thrilled, but at the same time, stupid enough to accept him again. Yes, I gave him a second chance. Because I loved him.

You know how they say, that love is blind. But oh well. After all this pain and insult, I gave him a second chance without a thought.

I accepted my mistakes, especially when he was the one who actually made them. I don’t know why all of this was happening in my life. Soon after I did this, he began ignoring me again and soon, we spent an entire month without texting or talking to each other.

It’s been easy for him to move on, but for me, I couldn’t think of anything else. I know time heals everything, but this was something that I knew time couldn’t help with… still hasn’t. I know he won’t message or call me again, but just because he walked out, doesn’t mean that I can’t stop waiting for that notification light.

I wish I could tell him that I’m not his toy. I deserve respect and love, and more importantly, happiness. And more than anything, YOU don’t deserve me. I deserve much, much better. And I am strong enough to handle this pain.

I’ve had some of the best memories of my life with you, but I’ve also had some of my worst.

So, it’s time for me to move on and have the best time of my life. Cheers to you and cheers to those best friends too!

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