Dear Ex,

People talk about being cheated on and they know only one meaning of that- having sexual encounters with someone else or being emotionally attached to somebody else. But dear love, you cheated me since our first day but in a different way.

I still remember our first date at that cafe. I was really impressed by the fact that you were into mountains and trekking. You complimented my pink long skirt and my owl earrings. You said I looked pretty. I smiled-
I liked you too.

I always thought that I was really strong, and after my last breakup, I decided that I would not fall for anyone. But little did I know. I moved to a new city with a new job. As I didn't have any friends there, I started using dating apps. Honestly, believe me, I wasn't looking for any hookups or any serious relationships. I was just looking for someone to talk to or hang out with. That's it. Nothing more than that. And then, I met you.

I made myself perfectly clear. I said, "Dude, I like you. You seem a nice guy, but I'm not looking for anything serious and that obviously doesn't mean that I'm looking for casual flings. I just need a friend." You told me to just chill and persuaded me to go out with you a second time.

On our third date, you picked me up from my office for dinner and a long drive. That drive was really tough for me because by that time I understood what you wanted. I also liked you but I wasn't sure. But I finally gave in. I spent the night with you, you didn't hurry. You were gentle with me, took care of me, and to be honest it felt really good. Next morning, I was really happy.

Then, we started meeting every day and slowly I fell in love with you. We went on a trip as well. I was already 28 by then and there was the pressure of getting married from my home. And till that day, you didn't say anything about your feelings for me but you always said that you were really serious about me, about us. So I asked you.

Did I do anything wrong? You got angry and left my place right away. I went for a trek on the very next day and when I came back after 2 days, you had completely changed your perspective and you expressed your feelings for me. I was on cloud nine.

I didn't know that you chose to have me around so it would serve your purposes as long as you lived in this city. And then you left to Chandigarh. I really believed that you were not able to get a job nearby. As you were preparing to leave, we had so many fights.

I started to realize that I don't come as a first priority in your life. Not because you were leaving. I understand our profession very well and I don't mind it at all. But, what I realized was I always came as a second priority, even after your friends. It killed me. I expressed my concerns and you gave some explanations, and yeah, we were okay for a while. At least I thought that.

You broke up with me a month later. Why? Because I asked you to meet me for your birthday. I understand that your journey was far but that triggered the truth out of you. I forced you into a relationship, you said. I didn't speak your language, and you didn't feel the connection anymore. Of course, you had never loved me, and you didn't have the time to think about it.

I was also angry and told you that I also want to break up. The next day, I called you because we can never just break up, that too for such lame reasons. Come on. But no, you were way ahead of me. That day I pinged you again in the evening hoping maybe you would change your mind. The next day I called again hoping the same thing, I started acting like a beggar as I really f***ing loved you. How could I just let you go? But, no you were so sure about yourself and all those reasons.

I couldn't sleep for nights, started having broken dreams. I stopped eating properly. At the office, I used to hide my teary eyes behind my long curly hair and cry soundlessly in the stalls. If anyone asked me if I was crying, I would give them my contact lens excuses.

But, then I realized, I was just "Someone to f*** and spend time with" for you until the time you were here. Maybe you moved out of the city because you understood that you don't love me and I do. And, obviously, it's easier to break up with somebody when you have "Long distance doesn't work" excuse.

But you know what, I'm really glad that you changed your city, otherwise I could never see your true face. A person who couldn't stand one month of long distance, he should never settle down for marriage. You moved on so quickly that it startled me. I kept thinking, how on earth could I be so stupid that I fell for a person like you? If you never felt that I loved you, why the hell you continue the relationship? I feel pity for the girl to whom you would end up marrying. Oh, did you break up with me because you knew I would never give you dowry? Whatever, I have no respect for you anymore.

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