Oh perfect little man, where have the last two years gone? It really does seem like it was just yesterday when I was bracing myself through each contraction in eager anticipation of meeting you. As each hour went by I remember wondering how much longer it would take.
And then, there you were, laying on my chest, cuddled into me with absolute perfection. I cried because I knew I loved you more than I ever imagined possible. I cried because from that moment onward, my whole world would revolve around you.
I love watching you grow, my sweet little man. Your personality is amazing. You are so funny and so adorable, and you have me wrapped around your little finger, and don’t you know it. Whenever you think I’m sad, or if I’m hurt, you try to kiss me to make me feel better or give me a hug or wave your magic wand. And then you tilt your head to the side and give me the cutest, cheekiest grin because you know it always makes mummy smile. You have grown so much my darling, especially over these last few weeks. You’re joining more and more words together and getting your message across. You sing songs and tell us what you want to do. You have such a strong sense of identity.
You are becoming so much more independent now and while I am so proud of you, it makes me sad to think that you need me a little less with each passing day. But then I realize that you just need me in different ways now.
Instead of needing me to carry you as we walk around, you need me to hold your hand as you walk beside me. Instead of needing me to pat you to sleep, you need me to kiss you goodnight, tell you that I love you and tuck you into bed. Instead of needing me to tell you what we are doing, you need me to give you choices as you learn and grow. You’re becoming more independent even when we go to the park each week. You are learning to climb up the ladder by yourself, you absolutely love the days that we get to go to the park and you completely wear yourself out. As all mothers do, I often ask myself if I am doing enough, if I am doing it right and am I giving you everything I can. If you test my last nerve and I get snappy, I wonder if I’ve broken your little heart.
Mummy guilt is something I live with all the time, I want to give you everything my little man and I want you to be happy.
What I do know is that you are loved, more than you will ever know. Everything I do is to make you happy, to make you smile and to hear you laugh. I do everything I can to give you the best life possible. You are my absolute world and you make me happier than I ever thought possible. My sweet little Munchy, two years old you are today and before we know it you’ll be three, then four. You grow so quickly that sometimes it feels like I can’t keep up. Then you hold my face in your little hands and give me a kiss, you wrap your little arms around me and say ‘Lub you Mumma’ and the whole world slows down.
So Happy Birthday, my little love. Grow, play, have fun and always know, Mummy loves you.