I was in an open relationship with a guy whom I loved and was hoping to live a good life with him after five long years together. Our relationship wasn’t conventional, and of course, it had no name. But it was about the friendship and strong chemistry that we shared.
He told me that he’d found someone else and was going to get married in 2017. Today, it’s June 3rd 2019, and he still isn’t married. He respected my feelings and we stayed good friends. Of course, I still miss him and I guess, a few things are just not meant to be forgotten.
Our story starts in August 2017. I was depressed most of the time and began using alcohol as my crutch. I met this young man, let’s call him XYZ, who was a few years younger than I was. He was a sweet, geeky fellow, but honestly, the looks didn’t matter.
We started chatting first and soon switched to phone conversations. We had a lot of similarities and he was also very reserved and lonely. I thought he was ideal to get over my ex and began spending more time with XYZ.
One day, we went for a drive and then to a drive-in café where we spoke for hours and just spent our time together. When he was dropping me home, I could see it in his eyes, that he was expecting something more from me.
He left that night with such a sad look in his eyes. It was a bit odd for me to comprehend. But the next day, when we met, he told me that he was a virgin and that he was expecting me to be the one who would ‘break’ this.
All of this was very strange to me, but I didn’t let this affect our friendship and continued to see him. We eventually got very close and finally one day it just happened. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, but it turned out to be the best day of my life. It was the first time that someone had made love to be so comfortingly, and carefully.
We started getting closer and I ended up opening up to him about my past. It was strange because, after all of this, he began avoiding me. I’m not sure if it was my openness about the situation I was in, or that I was such a strong, independent woman.
Months passed before we spoke again, and this time I decided to be the one in control of our friendship. We developed a stronger bond and I can safely say, we did become very good friends.
Things changed one day when I introduced him to a girlfriend of mine. She was curious about him, and I told her how he was such an amazing person and a close friend of mine. I was a bit surprised when he told me later on that she had found him on Facebook and added him. I wasn’t sure if it was because of his ‘good nature’ or because I happened to tell her that he was a filthy rich man.
I wasn’t feeling good about it, but decided not to confront her about it. Over time, the two of them started speaking a lot more and while he and I had never spoken about being together forever, it was more than surprising for me when things got out of control and my friendship with both came to an end.
We blocked each other everywhere.
Eventually, I moved to a different city and he went on to do his MBA somewhere else. One day, without much thought, I texted him and was shocked to know that he was in the same town as I was. This connection and the telepathic bond that we shared would always surprise me.
The past repeated itself but in the worst way possible.
I was already making new friends and was making my way through life with a great job, good friends, attending parties and just having a crazy time. I met a girl in one of these parties and we ended up bumping into each other a lot.
I couldn’t help but be cautious because of how my earlier experience stood, and even my roommate wasn’t getting a good vibe from her. But somehow, one night, she ended up coming over to my place and we spoke through the night about our lives. I ended up telling her about XYZ and eventually asked this girl to find and add him on Instagram as I wanted to go through his profile (which was private).
I was still physically close to XYZ, whenever we were in the city, we would meet and hook up, but we never ended up unblocking each other. I wasn’t sure if it was love, but I also knew that we didn’t have a future together. I was five years older than him. Of course, I knew things would have been different if age wasn’t a factor between us. But this, I kept to myself.
Within a few hours, XYZ and this girl had begun chatting. A lot. I was surprised by how friendly and familiar he was with a stranger. Was he just blind? Or innocent? I told this girl that I wasn’t comfortable with this anymore, and asked her if she could just block and delete him.
But wow. Things changed and how.
She too quickly figured out from his posts and their conversations that he was a rich man. And suddenly, instead of all those men around her being desperate for her attention, she wanted my man.
She even told me that she wanted him to lick her all over. I was at a loss for words.
My roommate had warned me that she seemed selfish and cunning, but yet again, I ended up trusting the wrong person.
Anyone in her place would have respected their friend's feelings, but she was incredibly shameless and even ended up sending my screenshots to XYZ where I had asked her to block him.
Of course, this didn’t sit well with him, and he ended up fighting with me, and sharing my screenshots with her – which she sent me.
The audacity of it all. I was left traumatised. I told XYZ that he was behaving like an asshole and very desperate. What hurt me was that in the two years that we knew and respected each other, he did this not once, but twice!
I was so lost and depressed that I lost my job and decided to just leave everything and go back home. I wanted to leave on a good note, so I told XYZ that I would like to clear the air before I go. In passing, my roommate heard this and what she did next will always leave me suspicious of women and their fake personas.
She called up the other girl and told her that I was blackmailing XYZ to meet up before I went.
Instead of speaking with XYZ, that girl called me and told me to stay away from him. I told her, that if they were seeing each other then I would be happy to take a step back because I wasn’t like her and wouldn’t go around ruining relationships. That’s not how I was raised.
The next few days were horrible. XYZ seemed to be clueless or had decided not to say a word about any of this because she started sending my messages from his phone and social media accounts to leave him alone. I knew it wasn’t him from the bottom of my heart, but I wasn’t going to dignify their behaviour with a reply. Instead, I left it all on karma.
I’ve been home for around 15 days now and trying to move on from this episode, but I know that it will haunt me and that I won’t be able to trust anyone again.
I wish that it is true love, for the two of them, but I know that it isn’t. I hope that she doesn’t hurt him, but then again, it seems like he’s dug his pit.
All I can say is you have to be very careful whom you share your stories and secrets with. The world isn’t as kind as we would like it to be, and you never know when your secret can be used against you.