To My Sailor Husband, This Time Is The Truest Test Of My Love For You

To my sailor husband (that I love so dearly),
I have gone through many times you leave me for months. It starts from a 4-month voyage but sometimes ends up being a 7-8 month voyage. I have survived that and waited just to see you after those long gaps. If we were lucky, you would message me and sometimes even that became tough.
With a prayer in my heart that you're fine and a tiny little wish that I will hear a message tone for a text coming from you, I await those long months. But this time, it has been emotionally draining for me.
Here, I am an expecting mother and my heart is beating faster than ever with the fear that you are not close, a fear that if I need you, you are not a call away, a fear that I will have to do this all alone.
I have always been independent and tried to manage the home myself. But living alone even after marriage has not been very easy. This time around, I want you by my side. I know that it was with great difficulty that you left me like this the last time and I tried to be the stronger one. But my heart has lost one of its pieces now and I'm finding it hard to be happy.
I miss that comforting protected feeling I have when you are around, that emotion that comes what may we are in this together. I miss you taking care of me and now I have to be the responsible one at all times.
I miss you, my dear sailor. I close my eyes with tears flowing down my eyes every night, dreaming about the time when I will lean my head on your shoulder again. The time I would be waiting at the airport to see you, that feeling of confidence I will get when I will hold your hand and you'll wrap your fingers around mine firmly.
Love is too small a word for this situation when you have a perfect husband and he can’t be with you during the toughest time.
I hope you find this letter of mine in the pink of health.
Yours forever,
From your expecting wife.