Yes, love can happen twice and it did happen to me!

When I broke up with the guy I was in love with for seven years, I was shattered. I just wanted to end everything and die but then I slapped myself for even thinking that way. Mine was an abusive relationship. I was slapped if I ever questioned him and was abused if I did anything without seeking his permission.

I know I was wrong. I should have never given the freedom to hit me. I should have kicked him the first time he slapped me. But then, I loved him. I loved him honestly with all my heart and soul. I didn’t want to walk away from that relationship, until one day he decided to walk away himself.

So, after my break up, I was a bit relieved. I knew I deserved someone better. I knew I deserved somebody who will respect me. And then love decided to knock at my door again.

“knock knock”

 Ah, I was so lovestruck all over again. His first glance made me fall for him, the way he looked at me made me feel so special, his first words amused me.

The first time I met him was at a house party. He was my roommate's friend's brother. My roommate had already praised him a lot before I even met him. That night itself, I just couldn’t take my eyes off him.   

I stared at him for hours. His caring nature, his maturity, and the way he made me feel was something I had been craving for. However, I was not sure if I would ever be able to give him that place in my life, the place I had only imagined for my ex-boyfriend.  

I got to know about his past relationships and I just couldn’t understand how a girl could leave him! And then I thought, maybe nothing else worked out for him because I was meant to happen. Maybe God had us in mind.

We became friends quickly and started talking over messages. Every time his message came, my heart danced to his tunes. I didn’t know what that feeling was. I didn’t know what was happening, but every day I desperately waited for his message. I waited for him to come over my house so that I could see him. I wanted to be with him.

After a few days, he and his sister shifted to our society, and I was like “God has heard me”  I was on cloud 9 because now I could meet him everyday.

Days passed, and we connected more and more. I didn’t know if it was right or wrong. I didn’t know whether he felt the same way. I didn’t know what was going to happen. I just knew that I was deeply, madly, truly in love with him.

And one day I expressed my feelings, and that too in the most insane way.

I was drunk. I hugged him tight and said whatever was in my heart. He heard it very patiently but the next thing I remember from that night is how I was in a bathroom, vomiting all over the place.

I was embarrassed. But he was a gentleman. He took good care of me, from giving me water to wiping my face with his towel. Ah, his first touch and the way he looked at me gave me a hint that he had feelings for me too. I waited for his answer, and then after two days, I was at his house. He told me everything, about his dreams, family, responsibilities.

And then he said what I wanted to hear,  “YES, I LOVE YOU.” 

I was dying to hear those words. By now, we both knew everything each other, how we were left broken and how badly we needed each other. He called us "two broken souls mending each other's hearts”.

Love was in the air. We went on small dates, watched movies and got addicted to vine videos. In those three months, we made memories; good ones to cherish forever and bad ones to look back and realize what all we have survived together. 

On the 15th of December, his merit list came out and he was selected as an Assistant Commandant in the Indian Coast Guard. I was so proud of him. It was his dream and he deserved it, but for this, he had to leave on the 24th of December for 6 months. I was really upset.

I knew it was going to be tough, but then I also knew that sometimes we have to be apart so that we can be together in the future.

In those months of togetherness, he made me feel special every day. I woke up to his loved filled messages. It was a special feeling. I told him to send me voice notes every day for a week before leaving so that I could at least hear his voice while he was gone, as phones were not allowed during the training.

I gave him a small photograph of ours to keep in his wallet so that we could remain connected in some way.  

And then the day came when he had to leave. He came to meet me, gave me a warm tight hug, kissed me on my forehead and said: “Don’t worry, I’ll be back soon. I love you, just trust me.”

I do trust him. I know I’ll never regret loving again. I know he’ll never disappoint me. I know we will make it together till the end.

And now, I eagerly wait for his call every day. Just waiting for these 6 months to get over.  I can’t wait to meet him... can’t wait to hug him... can’t wait to kiss him again. 

If you are reading this, I just want to say one thing:

 “No matter what happens, no matter how much time you take, I’ll be waiting for you every day of my life because I love you. I really do." 

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