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I Grew Up Thinking My Father Was The Monster Of Our Lives Until His Death Revealed My Mother's Truth

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

This not just a my story but a mesh I really want to fix. I don't know where to start from.

I am a daughter who has seen her drunk father beating her mom since childhood. My father was doing no job and his only job was to steal money from household expenses then drink and come home and beat me and mom like animals. I was punished because I was in support of my mother. It was a journey of 20yrs of my life.

I used to participate in singing competition, as it was my hobby. Gradually, I was forced to participate in stage shows to earn money by both my father and mother, and I was explained that it is good for polishing talent. The audience were bad... Very bad. They used to pass bad comments and throw money. I became a topic of discussion at my school and then I decided to stop, although I was beaten hard to participate again by my father.

Many more bad memories still don't leave me alone. I used to think, what if I just wake up one day and my life becomes normal. But no, it was not my bad dream, it was my childhood. Years with the same story passed.

I was now ready for my graduation and finally ready to move out of the hell. I was happy in hostel. At least I had peace. At least no one knew me.

It was the second year when I got to know my father is going to die due to his bad habit. I was not able to decide what exactly I was feeling. Just thought he is going through all this because of all that he has done to himself.

I visited home on vacation. I was just deleting messages from my mother's phone as it was out of memory. I saw some messages, from some unknown number. Some random 'I love you' text. I asked her- she was silent.

Obviously, someone who has suffered a lot may get diverted. But then I got to know that it was a married man. I made her understand all these things are not good and she promised me she will never repeat again. My father died the very same year.

Thought things would change. Now me, mother and my little sister will live a happy life. But everyone has a different choice in life. I again saw some messages. This time, from a different person. Again confronted. Again fake promise. Things continued.

She started having multiple partners. Some times got caught in some bad situations, in a sudden visit. Again fake promise and things continued.

Now, its been 7years and the same things are being continued with lots of fake promises. I still was in a doubt. Me and my sister planned to record phone calls. When we listened back, it was worse than what we expected. Slangs, planning for a foreplay, even contained slangs for me and my sister. We were just shocked!

Whole life I considered her as a super hero. But it was a fake story. A year back got to know she is suffering from kidney problem. Decided to move her in with me and my husband. Treated her with proper medical services. And in return she used to do back bitching about me, blame me for making fake stories and exaggerating things to blame me in front of everyone.

I caught her again talking at mid night about me using slangs to her so called, one of the boyfriends. It was enough I told her to stop this nonsense otherwise I will not keep her with me in my home. When I discussed this problem with an elderly family member, he told she is doing this since my father was alive.

Isn't it just wow?

My super hero is just a fake comic story then. The next day morning she was again caught talking to someone. I decided she can't live with me from now. I told her I will support her financially but from now, no emotional touch with her. I am still struggling with the reality.

What if some day my friends get to know all this things about me? What if my in-laws get to know? Am I going to be judged because I am the daughter of a characterless women? Life is Just not so easy....

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