I was as thrilled for my marriage as any other Indian girl. My father was searching for grooms on various matrimonial sites.
As I was Manglik, the man we were looking for had to be Manglik as well. It took around 4–5 years to find the so-called right boy, and things started off.
We began chatting, and after a few months, he decided to pay us a visit. He came to see us on July 23 for the official meeting. My family and I met him and liked him.
After that, my parents began pressuring me to marry him, but I needed more time to think about it and make a final choice. But, according to my parents, everything was fine, he was the perfect man.
So we finalised our roka. October 18 was the day decided on our engagement. Everything went smoothly. Families were happy, and we were happy as well. Following the engagement, my cousins and I decided to go on a brief trip with my fiance, and we all went to Matheran. I was excited, as I had already begun to like him.
As we were engaged, I wanted to be close to him. I reached for his hand in the car, but he rudely withdrew. I felt terrible as I thought he was shy. In Matheran, during a night walk, he mentioned that he needed some time for intimacy, which I again took as shyness. I moved on from this, and we eventually got married.
On our first night, we slept side by side. I was expecting some discussion about our future or a hug, maybe a kiss, but nothing happened for a while. After about an hour, he asked if he could hug me, and he held and kissed me before we fell asleep.
This went on for 3-4 days, after which he initiated sex, which just felt as if he wanted to finish it.
We had sex four times after that, and none of them were complete. I could see he was experiencing some difficulties. He had no desire to engage in any physical act. I forced him to visit a doctor. Initially, he denied it, but when I persisted, he agreed and visited the doctor.
The doctor said nothing was wrong, “Just give it some time and things will be fine.” I gave it time, but things remained the same. He was never interested in a hug or kiss.
I assumed he was shy and that I should go ahead and initiate the first move. So when I began kissing him, he used to step back and not let me kiss. When I inquired what the problem was, he remained silent. I tried several times, but he kept moving back, and one day he eventually said that he didn't like kissing.
I cried and felt bad. How would I live my life without kissing anyone?
I kept my patience and thought that maybe one day he would be interested and definitely come to me. The days just passed, and I kept trying, but he would withdraw and go to sleep, often reassuring me, "Sab thik ho jayega tension mat lo”.
I trusted him each time, waiting patiently, but he never came to me; it's been 9 months since we had any physical intimacy, and he still says "Sab thik ho jayega."
I've returned to my parents' home since I've chosen not to stay with him.