love marriage Confession Motivation

15 Years Ago I Married My Lover, Only We Know How We Made It

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

It was the 26th of March, we got engaged to tie the knot on the 9th of May, life changed in the matter of one and half months in between. Who would have thought, the beautiful life that we both were looking forward to would be different than what we had dreamt of.

Ours is a love marriage, we understand this term is quite different here in India, unlike anywhere else in the world. Generally, love marriages aren't the easier ones to happen. Everyone knows there is always opposition from either of the families or both the families.

Luckily, for us after an initial hiccup, both sides readily agreed, we both being of the same caste and community. We both wanted a simple court marriage, no band baaja baarat, no big fat Indian wedding! But our families wanted it otherwise, we didn't have a say.

My husband had bought a house, our new abode, where we both would live happily after our marriage, he had taken a loan for this house. We also booked a lavish honeymoon, we were to travel to the beautiful hills of Uttarakhand. I say lavish, as we had booked the best of the resorts, we were to fly for the first time, not take a train, all this was paid for through a credit card. I was under a lot of stress after my engagement, as there was very little time to finish all the preparations and shopping for marriage, to decorate my new house, get all the amenities in place before we could start our new life.

My husband was working at a bank and had a really busy schedule, so I was the one handling all the renovation work at our house. Few days after my engagement, I was in the washroom, and all of a sudden, I started feeling light in the head, thousands of thoughts started crossing my head, memories from the past, my childhood started crowding my head, next thing I know I was unconscious, but before the fall thankfully I could open the door.

My family members made me lie down on the bed, after a few minutes when I gained consciousness, I yelled something loudly, felt extremely tired, and slept straight for two hours to get up with a throbbing headache. We thought it may be due to running around for shopping in the heat which may have caused the fall, hence didn't see a doctor. Days went by too quickly only to get another jolt, in mid-April - my husband lost his job!

There was a big scam that took place at this bank where he was working. To show the bank has taken some action, the top bosses, very conveniently showed the door to the lower rung executives and managers, just like that! Here we were enthusiastically waiting for our wedding to take place in less than a month, and now the groom doesn't have a job, and there was a big burden of loan to be repaid.

A whole new life to begin, with a huge debt staring at us.

I was into insurance sales, so my income was commission-based. If I sell a policy, I earn an income, which isn't a reliable source to run a house, as it is volatile. We had exhausted almost all our savings in renovating the house, so there was very little bank balance left.

We both were against taking any money from our parents, that was a big no-no, as it is they who were paying for the wedding. We didn't tell our parents or anyone else about the job loss, the wedding took place with all the dhamaal and shor. It was only the two of us who knew what was going on, and we decided to take one step at a time.

As the honeymoon was already paid for, we went for it and did thoroughly enjoy our luxurious vacation before facing the difficult times waiting to welcome us. After coming back, we had our renovated, empty house glaring at us, waiting to be decorated, appliances to be bought. No refrigerator, no television, no furniture. Thankfully, I had a small stove to cook food on, and few utensils that my mother-in-law had sent.

A challenging beginning, a fresh start, awaited us. Once again, after marriage, when I was in the washroom, I lost my consciousness. The same sequence of events followed, crowding of thoughts, falling down, getting up, screaming loudly, sleeping, getting up with a headache. This happened a couple of times and we saw a neurologist, who identified it as seizures due to epilepsy and since that day till today, I'm on medication.

How I fell, hurt my head, have lost my taste and smell, went through a pregnancy with the medications on, more on this in another blog. Taking everything by our stride, we both thought this too shall pass.

We both believed in each other. He started searching for a job, I started gathering necessary stuff for the house with whatever savings were left. Luckily, he landed a decent job within a month, the pay wasn't that great, but good enough to support our monthly expenses.

Eventually, we did get through all the obstacles, with some patience, planning, persistence, and perseverance.

Tough times never last, tough people do. It's been 15 years now, we did sail through all sorts of challenges that life threw at us, solving the real-life puzzles successfully, and here I'm, writing and sharing these life stories today. 

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