sexuality addiction Mental health Life

I Look Successful On The Outside, But This Is Why I Can Never Have A Normal Life

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

I am a sex addict. I don’t know where it came from but that’s me.

I cannot control myself even if I try to.

The first time I had a sexual encounter was in class 12th with my first girlfriend and since then its been 10 years and it’s been a hell of a decade. I’ve learned a lot about myself- who I am and what I am. All the relationships and breakups, love and betrayal.

To be honest, I don’t blame those girls who left me. I deserved that. What would anyone do if they learned that their partner cheats on them with sex workers? I know it’s a lot, but that’s me.

On a flip side, I have a steady life. I am doing what I wanted to do. I earn well, live in a great apartment and so on. I am an inspiration for my younger cousins. But all that is from the outside.

Inside, no one knows what’s going inside of me. I am at a point where I don’t intend to engage myself romantically with anyone. I want to though, but I can’t. The sexual desire overwhelms it. I have many casual relationships where two of us satisfy each other. I have tried different things on different girls thinking someday the desires will go away but it doesn’t seem to be ending any time soon. I just can’t live without it for more than 2 days.

To all the girls who have been done wrong by me. I’m sorry.

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