I got the most precious gift from God as he entered my life. He was my senior in college. The most popular guy with almost every girl crushing on him. Even in my wildest dreams I had never expected we could be friends. I don't know whether it's destiny or something else but we became friends. Slowly I got to know what a nice human being he was.
The more I saw of him the more I fell for him. Soon I was completely in love with him.
After our college was over, we were still in touch. I shared each and everything with him. From the first good morning text to last good night, I was a complete chatterbox. He was calm and had immense patience, he always listened to my blabbering. Our friendship became the soul of my life. It gave me energy, enthusiasm, encouragement, it made me feel alive. He always inspired me to do more and more in life. But all good things end, our friendship also faced a sudden unexpected end.
I was also in contact with his girlfriend. I had no issues with that. His friendship was always more than enough for me. Whenever I had a chat with that girl, she used to indirectly explain how she was everything to him and I was nothing. I never protested even though it hurt me a little every single time. But I accepted that they were together and he would settle down with her, long back.
One fine day, I was a bit disturbed in the chaos of my life and we were having a chat and she started telling me the same kinds of things all over again. I don't know why, I just said that I loved his boyfriend too.
I explained to her that it was one-sided and I was happy for the both of them and I didn't have any issues with anything.
What I thought was after listening to this she will probably understand me and will stop telling me so much about their happy relationship. She even promised me that she won't share my secret with anyone. I was relieved, I slept in peace that night thinking she got my point. Little did I know that it was my last peaceful night ever.
Next day she texted me saying she'd tell him everything. I was shattered, confused and had no idea how to deal with it. I wasn't ready for this. I realized it was too late and I had already made the biggest mistake of my life.
I wanted to beg her "please don't do this to me" but my self-respect came in between because by then, I had realized that she'd never listen to me anyway.
I gathered all the courage I had left in me and I texted him everything. It was the end. I could understand how insulted and embarrassed he might have felt in front of his girlfriend for my stupidity. Our friendship ended. That is the punishment I got for the worst mistake of my life.
Now I live my life without feeling alive and cursing each and every second of it because I lost my soul and I am responsible for it. I am so ashamed of my act that I can't even expect him to see and understand the whole situation from my perspective and forgive me for my immature behavior. I will never get back our friendship and will continue to survive regretting and cursing myself for the rest of my life. I murdered our friendship and so this is my death sentence for it.