I always wanted a family where we will go out for dinner, go for outings, have family gatherings and make new friends.

Things I have today are the opposite of that. I was born and brought up in a typical middle-class family where at sharp 8 pm, I had to sleep. No outings, dinner or parties.

I am not complaining that I have this life but it will remain in my heart that I don't have a family anymore to expect happiness from. My elder sister got married. I lost my mother a year ago and I am just stuck here.

I prayed to God every day that I will not make new friends or won't buy any new clothes. All I wanted was a dinner night with my family. 

Why I am writing this is because it is something that is affecting my personality now. The things I haven't done with my family is the most regrettable feeling. 

I avoid conversations with most people. Every day I want to be someone else. Most importantly, I am afraid of falling in love.

I don't want a new family anymore as nothing lasts forever. Now I am becoming a person who doesn't care. Let me tell you, I am doing a good job, earn good and I meet new people all the time. I talk to them and then, let them go.

I hope nobody ever has to live life like this. I know it seems like a small problem but this soon becomes your future. Whatever you have seen in your childhood, it stays with you.

I will not give this life to my kid. I've learnt my lesson and this is not a lesson anyone teaches you but please, take steps towards your childhood dreams. I still regret not asking my parents for that family dinner that I always craved. 

Always do what you want because life is short and unpredictable and not following your dreams can sometimes affect your personality directly. 

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