Have you ever gotten lost in the supermarket and kept finding your mother to take you home? A child’s heart experiences relief when they find their maa and hold her finger, knowing they are safe now. But what should the child do as he grows up, loses his way in the world, and it strikes that his mother is no longer there to guide him home?
He feels lost, invisible and insignificant. I was no different; tears fill my eyes every day as I miss my mother’s guiding voice and pray to hear it one last time.
When I was just three years old, my mother realised that her husband had cheated on her. The same man who swore to spend seven lifetimes with her had married another woman. Strong-willed and determined, my mother decided to establish a life for herself. We moved out of our home, severed all ties with the man, and Mom started working. She accepted a position at a call centre at night and cooked at different homes during the day. I assisted Maa since I couldn't bear to see her working and wearing herself out. When I was 16 years old, I started working as a delivery boy at a pharmacy to help put food on the table. Even when my mother lost her job during the pandemic, she found a way out and began a tiffin service to earn money.
I had dreamt to create a life worth living for my mother and me. I wanted to give her all the luxuries and comforts of this world, but destiny had other plans. I lost my mother in May 2022, and the world didn’t make sense.
I felt like a child lost in the supermarket; pushed about, stumbling here and there, with nowhere to call home.
My mother was a woman of dreams; she was eager to attend my convocation but sadly passed away. Through life, I have learnt that we men can be mindless sometimes, and it is shameful that we hurt a woman who has left her home, her family, and even her name for us. We probably do not deserve the love a woman can give as, in return sometimes only give pain, agony and life-long suffering.
If my tears could build a lake, I’d swim it to reach heaven. Because maa you left too soon with no good-bye spoken. I would ask god why, but I know he would only say the angel had to return home, that’s why. So I will close my eyes and open up my heart; I will tell the world exactly who you were.
Maa, I could never say goodbye to you; it would just be until we meet again.