Ours is a love marriage. The marriage is doing fairly fine. I feel my husband loves me a lot. I feel good that he does little things for me. He helps me a lot in managing our home as well. Cooking is his hobby and also his stress buster. He sometimes cook for me and I love that. He helps me even when I don't ask for it. He is a kind person so I feel that its in his nature.
But sometimes, when we have an argument he always comes up with some bitter things like he is not doing well professionally because of me. He is so much occupied in taking care of me that he can hardly focus on this work. This really upsets me because I feel this is not true.
Like for example, we both don't like going to the sabji market. But whether we like it or not vegetables are our necessity. One of us have to get it. I am a house wife. I hardly go out of home. I live in a society where no sabji vendors come. Veggies are available only in our society market. So, we decided that I call the sabji vendor and get it delivered at my home step.
When I started doing so, my husband suggested that as the vendor charges more and the veggies delivered are often not fresh, he would get it from a vendor near his office wherein he will Whatsapp the veggies list and get it delivered in his car. I agreed, and to make it convenient for my husband, every Saturday I gave the list and made sure to get the veggies for the whole week. So it was simple.
But, when we have a fight, my husband would say bitter things and say you can't even get the veggies and that I am the reason for his failure. Now, I do not understand it. I can definitely go and get veggies. I have no problem with it. But, he suggested that he gets it as its more convenient.
Like this he comes out with hundreds of things. I get so upset as I keep appreciating the fact that he supports me but on the other hand he makes me feel that this support is not genuine. Inside, I as his responsibility have become a burden for him and the reason of his faliure. I feel he is satisfied when he puts the blame of his failures on me. This is his way to move on with his faliures. But this breaks me so much.
All this love and care seems fake. I want him not to help me. I want to manage every thing on my own and I can do that. But, I am sure by not involving him in my life and our home, it will create a big gap within us. I feel may be its time I do this because I can't take this blame all my life.