I grew up in a household with no healthy boundaries and a lot of chaos and violence.
My feelings were always invalidated and that happens till date. But growing up, I never understood a lot of things and always thought that my parents had the perfect relationship. I guess deep down I always knew but chose not to see or confront it.
A few years back, a life crises hit me and made me realise the truth of what was going on. Coming from a family of functioning alcoholics, my dad has some major issues that he needs to deal with. He has massive narcissistic traits in him and he is manipulative. Adding to that, I found out that he is having an affair. And he has that affair openly in front of us without feeling any guilt about it.
When I confronted him one day with proof, he started giving excuses and started shouting and screaming and what not. He thinks that just because he is the provider of the family, he can do whatever the fuck he wants. He is a male chauvinistic pig who thinks money can buy everything.
Now, all of these issues have taken a huge toll on my health to the point where the trauma manifested in my physical body in the form of paralysis. Now, even after seeing this, he continues to behave the same way.
I don't know if I can ever forgive my dad for the person he is or my mom for putting up with such an asshole and not seeing how it's affecting me.