They say first love never dies. No matter what you do, that feeling always lingers somewhere in the deepest corners of your heart. I never shrugged this off but came to believe it only once I saw myself stuck in the same maze as the million others.

Like every other girl, I too, wanted to marry the love of my life. I was 15 and he was 17 when we crossed ways and hearts during a school tour. Cupid had struck at the first sight and we were madly in love in the two years of our fairy-tale relationship.

We had quite a few things in common, from being exceptional students to having a doting family and a bunch of crazy friends. I was his priority and this made me feel special always.

But as all stories have a vamp, I was the one who essayed the role in our case. I came to believe that he was cheating on me and in a fit of rage posted a false statement about him on social media sites. And, I didn’t stop there; from sending furious messages to blocking him on all possible connections, I did all of it to severe ties with him once and for all.

My pain and agony had overpowered my sense of reasoning, which I regret till date. He didn’t react nor did he respond to my sudden reaction but I had certainly ruined his life, both emotionally and psychologically. 

Our lives took an absurd turn post the incident. While I never got to know how he dealt with the mess, I, on the other hand, got into depression, losing two months of my curriculum. I left the country to pursue further studies as his memories haunted me in the city. A year to our breakup and I texted him, asking of his whereabouts. We did speak but our conversation ended with blame-game and we ended up clinging onto our egos. We, however, continue texting each other at least once a year and the topic hovers around reasons that led us to split.

I’m yet to get over him and I feel it’s the same with him. Throughout the years, I’ve missed him and in an attempt to distract myself, I diverted my attention to studies and my career. While I did excel, the emptiness within persists till date. I have always loved him and will do so till the end. His place can be taken by none but all that is left is regrets of my teenage self, breaking up with him over a petty issue without reasoning the situation.

I wish I could go back in time to mend things, get his love and our relationship back because if this were true we'd be celebrating our 5th anniversary soon.

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