woman in love bad marriage Separation ethical dilemma

We Managed To Come Together Against All Odds But What's Not To Be Is Not To Be

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

As usual I got his call. But this time, while I was at my home that also on a weekend. It used be on weekdays most of the time. Without any hesitation I answered it. It was the person who I loved to talk to. We shared a good chemistry. We had a lot of things in common, and were such good friends.

Good friend? Yes, I met him as part of my work. While working we were not that close. Then he switched companies. Either me or him, we always made sure to keep in touch. Occasionally, we used to hang out "as friends", good friends.

We would meet at any coffee shop, sit there for hours till late night and chat. About work, friends, interests, travel and what not, but not even once about US! Somewhere at the back of my mind I was developing feelings for him.

We were from different cities and most of all, I was elder to him.  Knowing that I purposefully ignored him. I never bothered him with calls or messages. Even deleted his number from my cell so that I could really resist myself from contacting him. It was all within me. I didn't even know whether he had any such feelings towards me.

Once in a while, I used to get his messages and call. I normally answered his calls and replied to his msgs. Both of us moved on to different states as part of job. One day he came to my new office and met me. We had a short chat and he left immediately. I was okay with that. By then, I had came off my infatuation.

I was in my mid 20's back then. Years passed, we maintained a healthy friendship. We again started to call each other regularly. My marriage got fixed. I invited him to my wedding, but to my surprise , he came to my hometown for the function travelling all this way from his work place. I never thought he would come. I was really happy seeing him after a very long time that also for my wedding. And I was very composed at that time that I only loved my hubby. No one else in my mind.

Months passed, we started to have some issues in family life. My husband proved to be a psycho. He had the habit of harming and physically abusing me.  All these started coming out only after he stopped taking the pills. Me and my family were shocked. My husband's family had not informed any of his issues to us. 

I tried to convince him to go to the doctor, which didn't work out. I somehow confronted him, and the doctor left me with no hope. He told me it's risky to spend time with this person. All this while I was hiding my pain from my friends and family. But family stood by my side. They knew I was crying inside showing them a bold face.

I was also chatting with that friend, but never uttered a word about anything. So, coming back to that call- I got his call, and attended. As normal we began to talk about that day and my week. We have been discussing about a project all this while. So quickly, moved on to that topic. Call went on for a bit long that day.

Close to 4 we cut the call. Soon after the call I got a msg. Thought its some forward. I had to go back to my work place the very next day. Had only 2 hrs to sleep. Even then I decided to check. I opened the msg and yes, it was from him. He wrote something that I never expected from him. He asked me out. Said he wants to spend some time with me.

I was really happy. I texted him back asking what really happened to him. He said he wanted to spend time with me and wants to get more close to me. I knew what he is about to tell next so I cut him and tried to change the topic and somehow convinced him to go to sleep. But I couldn't sleep.

Next day in the middle of my work I received a message from him saying he will be there at my office by 6. I could not say no because I really needed his company. We spent the whole night chatting and we also had few drinks. At some point we both felt the spark within. I was confused when he looked for my consent. But irrespective of that, we made love that night.

I was sure really after a long time. By then me and my husband had also made our mind for a mutual separation. Both of us confessed our feelings for each other. But I know we will never be together. Both the families will be against this if if proceed with the relationship. I love him deep from my heart. At the same time, I don't want to be a disturbance in his life.

I want him to be happy because I love him that much. I am not expecting him to fight with his family for me. Neither do I have the plans. But I will always love him and he will be in my heart forever.

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