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I Loved My Friend Dearly And Expected The Same For Me; Where Did I Go Wrong?

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

Friendship is a like a tree. It is not measured by how long it has grown, but how the roots have grown deep.

This is the story of my true friendship. I am the kind of person who gives her 110% in friendship . I don't believe that friendship changes with time, if it is done from the bottom of your heart. This is the story of me and one of my friends whom I considered one of my special friends.

We are friends since 2000. We studied in the same tuition till 2007. We were there in thick and thin for each other. After completing 12th in 2007, we took admission in different colleges and our lives changed in a good way. It was going smooth enough. We were busy with our own lives and our new friends.

Her best friend was my schoolmate. We hardly met in 5 years. Merely 6-7times. In 2012 I got married. My friend and her best friend also attended my reception. Everything was going smooth. I became busy in my life with my kids. We used to message each other on our birthdays and festivals. From 2000 till 2018, she never missed to wish on my birthday.

My husband's job was a transferable one. So in 2018 we again got transferred to Delhi. I thought since my kids are a bit grown up, I can go and meet my friends. Then I started expecting from this special friend of mine. But due to some reason or the other we couldn't meet. We had only met once in 2015 after my marriage. My expectations started getting higher and higher.

She never used to reply to me on time. But she said that she still shared the same bond with me, the way she used to do earlier. Everything was going on an on and off basis. Then her marriage got fixed and she invited me. She said I had to come (though it was a formal one) but I said no in the first place, thinking about the kids's school etc.

Then me and my husband made plans to go to her marriage. One day I messaged her to message me her venue details but she didn't reply for 10 days. She never picked up my call saying that she was not in a mood to fight. But one day she called back and we talked.

She said that her would be in laws and her dad don't want more guests to come to the marriage. It was clear no to me in a sophisticated manner. In 2019, After her marriage when she sent the pictures, I came to know that along with her best friend(who was my schoolmate), 2 more of her friends had attended the wedding.

I said that it was very disappointing for me that I couldn't make it as I wanted to come and she denied. After her one month of marriage, I messaged her and asked her why didn't she meet me in Delhi (as she said) and I was very depressed. I also said that whatever I did for her, no one could have done to help her (I am not exaggerating it but I know it). For which she replied that I am always sad and depressed in my life and blocked me on Whatsapp.

The next morning I asked her best friend to tell her to talk to me once and the worst is after that message within 10 minutes I was blocked on Facebook also. After 2 days I called from my landline number asking about my fault. She said 'pehle tu theek thi, ab tu chandi ban gayi hai'.

She also asked what I had done for her. And about her other friends coming to her wedding, she said that I outrightly said no to her and they came from Dubai and USA. And about her best friend, she said that I am her friend, and she is her family. Which will weigh more? A mother with her kids trying to come or a newly married girl and an unmarried girl coming from abroad ?

After that she didn't unblock me for a year. I was literally totally depressed, my health got deteriorated. I literally begged to God that she should understand me once. I literally talked to astrologers about what can I do to make her realize my importance.

This year in April when I called her on her anniversary, luckily she answered my call and talked to me as if nothing happened. After Sushant Singh Rajput's death, I messaged everyone a heartfelt message. To my surprise she replied to it and after me asking her again she unblocked me on Whatsapp.

But, it was not going the way I expected. I messaged her once that I miss our old friendship, to which she replied that it can't happen in fraction of a second. There is a gap of 13 years. I will be a friend always but I should stop poking her about old friendship. After that she hardly used to reply to my messages.

I have tried so many times to video call her, to call her normally but all in vain. She always had a reason for not picking up the call. In 5 months, she replied 4 times for my almost 20 messages or may be more than that (general hi, hello and forwards). On friendship day also I made a video for her telling her that she is important to me. But she didn't even reply it also.

I prayed to God, literally begged to at least make her realize my importance. But all in vain, till 2nd Nov. My husband got transferred to abroad last year. And we were about to travel on 3rd November 2020. But God had different plans for us. Unfortunately me and my younger daughter were tested Covid positive. Our travel got canceled.

I told this to all my friends. I messaged my this friend also. But to my shock, instead of at least showing 1% courtesy, she blocked me again on Whatsapp. That was the most devastating moment for me. I text messaged her asking about what was my fault. But no reply. I called her but no reply.

Then finally, I messaged her that I pray to God that no one should threat her the same way she is been treating me.

So my dear so called friends of the world, do friendship if you think that you could be truthful to it lifelong, doesn't matter whether you talk once a day or once a year. And please understand the efforts of a person who is putting for you. No person wants her/his self respect to be broken every time. 

One more thing. In this tough time, my family is supporting me and standing by my side like pillars. Your friend can be like your family. But practically asking, given a choice between your friend and family whom would you choose ? I hope you will make a wise decision.

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