Indian Society mindsets jealousy regressive

Does My Privilege Take Away My Rights On My Emotions?

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

The Privileged Life.

Let me start this with a little bit of background. I am an average middle class Indian girl. Of course, in India most of us are middle class. I was average in academics, went to an average college for studies and got placed with a mediocre salary of 15K.

Everything about me was average, like number 6 in counting 1 to 10. You normally forget its existence. I have no complaints from life. My parents love me, siblings adore me, I am good company to be with, got cool people around me and in my job I am slowly making growth and money.

Everyone who knew me so far, personally or professionally accepted me to be that perfectly average, another middle-class girl who will end up being middle class. Trying all her life to make a better living for herself. But fate had other plans for me.

Fate didn’t want to see me as number 6 in the counting table. Fate took this average girl, got her married to a highly paid engineer and soon after getting married she shifted abroad and started working there and on the basis of her past work experience she landed up in a good job with good money. Suddenly she is not that average girl anymore.

Yes, it was an arranged marriage and I am no gold digger. I and my husband think of each other as a match and said yes after a lot of consideration. Our families found each other a match and we didn’t care much about the opinion of our relatives. So that’s how we got married.

My life started to change once people found out whom I was getting married to, what the guy does, how much he earns, where I will be shifting after marriage and all that. Suddenly, I was getting attention which was something new for me.

I was constantly travelling with my fiancée, for the wedding shopping. We were taking holidays together, for the photoshoots and so much. This was new for me and also for the people who knew me. Honestly, I was enjoying every bit of it and suddenly it started.

In India if you get something easy that means you don’t deserve it. If you are rich, people want you to feel bad for the money you have. I heard a colleague of mine saying – you just got lucky, anyone can be married in rich family. What is to feel so good about it? Another one saying- Yeah, I think this over-the-top engagement rings and functions are waste of money. People should donate if they have this much. Which I know if he had that much money to spend, he would have never done what he is preaching.

I thought this will all pass once I am married. So naïve I was, as that was just the tip of the iceberg. Leaving India was around the corner and people including relatives were trying to talk us out of it.

Whatever growth you get but our country is our country. You should not leave your family alone, you have responsibilities towards them too. Since he has got married, he has changed. His wife wanted to shift that’s why they are leaving the country. Indians in foreign countries are living miserably, Huh! What to do in gulf, only if the offer was from US or Canada you should change. Leave your wife behind, what will she do in a foreign country alone with nobody to talk to. You will go there and forget your traditions and culture. The best one was- Why do you guys want to leave India? We don’t see any logic in it.

Nobody gave a damn about our struggles, nobody asked how are we going to manage our finances, what are we going to do with the stuff we have in our apartment, are the visa formalities done, passports are updated or not. Do we have enough savings as currency difference is so much. We felt everyone wants us to fail. They want us to trip for once so that they can say – I told you so.

We came, made a living for ourselves, got adjusted in the new environment, made equilibrium in our relationship as husband and wife. We worked our hearts out to achieve this. To achieve a life, we are proud of.

All I have learnt from this is you can’t be weak. Money is the answer of all the difficulties in the world and if you have enough of it, no sympathies for you. You can’t suffer emotionally because you are earning enough and there is no point for you to feel sad.

If you and your husband are not on the same page in few things, you can’t share it because you have got what everyone wants then why are we having difference of opinion? You can’t ask for emotional support because, first what can we do from this much distance, second you are doing good for yourself.

It makes no sense for you to feel bad about anything in life. You can’t miss India because you left it by your choice. If you have a life of privilege or you are slightly doing better in your life you have done something wrong. If you are not going through the crisis others are going then your troubles don’t count. If you are sharing your happiness that means you are showing off. If you missed making a birthday call to someone in family group, you became arrogant. If you say no for lending money to a friend or relative, you have changed. If you couldn’t make it to an important occasion or wedding in family, you don’t care about family now.

Everything has different meaning now. As per others the mediocre girl just got lucky and is now showing off her wealth. She never worked for it, she didn’t deserve it, she will not stay happy. Only if people would have a little consideration and sensitivity, the world would have been a better place to live in.

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