love is eternal difficult relationship questions struggles

Does This Happen To Everyone Or Is It Just Me?

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

This started since I was in 8th grade. I fell in love with the black shirt he was wearing while going to our school picnic and since then I started developing a huge crush on him, but didn't know that it will turn out to be love.

For 7 years we had an on and off relationship. He has said a lot of mean things to me, he cheated on me and so technically, I should hate him but I can't help it.

It has been months after the last fight we had, when he cheated on me and since then we haven't exchanged any words but a part of me still wants him back. It's like he is that person of my life whose any mistake can be forgiven .

I don't feel love with a lot of guys. It was just him that I felt something for. After him I tried dating people but it didn't work out.

What should I do ? 

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