divorce single woman one sided love

I Had Assumed My Love To Be One Sided; I Turned Out To Be Wrong But Happiness Still Evades Me

( words)
*For representational purpose only.
Is it worth loving a person for a life time even though he wouldn't dare to express it?

Yes, I am a divorcee and I have a past. But, does it mean I have to stop myself from moving on in my life? Do I need to regret something that has happened 6 years ago? I feel it was meant to be and I have faced my part of the pain, dusted it off and rose from it while leading a life I want.

But, it doesn't mean I shouldn't fall in love. When heading for divorce I had no intention of being in a relationship again, as the pain with broken relationship was hard to handle.

I met Mr. X in my office. He was the only bachelor in our office searching for suitable girl to get married. We had to work on the same project so got to know him and our interests of travelling collided, because of which we travelled together and became close friends.

He supported me as a friend but I fell in love with him for his caring heart. But, I never expected him to reciprocate my feelings because I had the guilt of being a divorcee so I wouldn't dare to express my feelings. I tried to avoid him, fight with him for unnecessary reasons, stop talking to him. But this friendship was so strong, it sustained all the fights.

I have no regrets of anything until today, so with the same thought I didn't want to hide my feelings anymore and told it knowing that I didn't want him to reciprocate.

He as usual gave me a lecture; this is not right, lets be friends. But can a person who is in love just forget everything and remain friends? Why can't a person be in love and dedicate whole life for him, whether he accepts it or not?

I wanted to be the second type and told him I will give up on my feelings, but had decided would not care for anything and just love him.

I don't regret for either expressing my feelings or being in unrequited love.

But then later, I realised it was never one sided and he had feelings for me but never expressed it or showed off because of lots of reasons. He hasn't dared to accept his feelings and even today, I am in a dilemma whether he loves me or not? 

Everything is a question even today. But does it really have to end this way? We risk a lot of things in life. Why don't people stand for what they love? Is giving up so easy and worth than standing for what they love?

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