Let's start from starting... 2012 This was a really bad phase of my life, I lost My paternal uncle who was very close to me. That year was very depressing for me and I even had my 12th board exams. I was not able to concentrate on my studies. I used to cry because I missed him a lot. I convinced myself to focus on my studies because even my paternal uncle wanted me to focus on my career.
I started keeping myself busy in studies and later on, it was time for the exam and I cleared my board exams with flying colors and got admission in a very reputed college of Mumbai. But even if I got in a very reputed college I was not happy because I felt an emptiness within me because I wanted my uncle to be there with me to celebrate this happiness.
As my college was in the morning at 7.30 AM, I used to leave my house by 6.30 AM because I used to travel by train. So, it was winter days and one fine morning when I just got on the train I got a message from one of my friends (he was just a hi-hello friend, and he used to stay in my society but we hardly spoke to each other). I got a normal good morning text from him. I thought why has he texted me so early in the morning. I don't know why but I replied back saying good morning. Later on, I got a message from him saying "I guess you might be traveling to college so do carry a sweater because it's very cold today".
I felt why is he saying all this?? Is he just trying to show how nice Is he?? I had so many questions going on in my mind but I replied back saying"ok" and the conversation ended. Later on, I started getting his good morning messages and from here on our love story started.
We started chatting with each other. Our chats increased and we used to talk to each other day and night. I slowly started moving on with whatever had happened and yes I again started smiling and laughing and deep in my heart, I started feeling that maybe he is the one whom I can trust. I started developing feelings for him and decided to tell him but didn't have the courage to tell him face to face.
So, on 3rd March 2013, after thinking too much I texted him and told everything that I felt about him. I got know that even he had feelings for me and finally we started dating each other.
It was the first time, we met for half an hour. My heart was beating at a faster rate than usual. I was very nervous (as an introvert I was finding it difficult to start the conversation) but he broke the ice and made me comfortable. He gifted me a cadbury. I was so happy meeting him. I felt like on top of the world at that time.
We both always used to find reasons to meet each other and he was the one who made me smile and feel good about myself but I had still not said "I love you" to him. But we were madly in love with each other.
The rainy season started, and one fine day we decided to meet each other. We met by 10 AM in the morning and at that time it was not at all raining. He came with his bike and as I said I am an introvert I felt so shy to even sit behind him on his bike. But, later on, I sat behind him on his bike. We decided to go on a long drive as it was a rainy season and it was not hot on that day.
As we started riding, after some time it started raining and we both were wet hence we stopped near a small house(where one could stand under the roof). It was all filmy. I had never imagined that I could be standing beside him. Rain stopped and by then it was afternoon and we decided to go for a movie. So, we again started riding and as we were about to reach it started raining heavily. We both were all wet again and as we entered the multiplex we both were shivering because it was so cold.
We both sat on our respective seats and we had so much to talk to each other that we hardly watched the movie. That time I felt that I really loved him a lot and sensed the same from his side. While going back home I finally decided to tell him that "Yes, I love you too". I got off the bike and kissed him on his cheek and said I love you too. That time I didn't even care if anybody even saw us. Yes, we were madly in love with each other. We started meeting frequently.
Late in October, on an early morning we met on a beach. There were hardly any people near the beach. I felt so good as the cold breeze was touching our skin. We started walking on the black sand of the beach while holding each other's hand. As I was about to say something, he went on his knees and proposed to me by offering me chocolates and by saying these words “I want to grow old with you and I always want you beside me. I really do love you”.
I was so awe stuck because that was an unexpected thing for me. My eyes were full of tears and I said “I love you too”. He wiped my eyes and we both hugged each other. Every girl expects a guy like this and I was so happy that I had him. We completed 3 years of our relationship and we both were very happy.
In 2015, I graduated and decided to do my Masters degree in a reputed B-school(which was in Pune). Initially, he was not happy with me going far away from him but later on he understood and he himself told me to go and do my Masters from Pune. My joining date for the institute was 30th May, 2015. We met on 29th May, 2015 and we hugged each other so tightly and kissed each other so passionately because we would meet now after months and it would be difficult for both of us to live far away from each other.
In the era of Whatsapp and Facebook, he gave me a handwritten love letter. I was so delighted to see it and I read it. I recall a few sentences which were written as, ”Dear Love, I know we will be far away from each other now, but will miss you a lot. I feel so sad when you are not around me but its okay. Its only for 2 years because after completing your MBA, you will be again be near me. Even if we will be far away from each other we will always be connected to each other because we are two souls with one heart”. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I cant even imagine my life without you, this is because I want to marry you and have kids with you. You are best friend, my life, my love and I know you will be the best wife as well. Do concentrate on your studies and come back soon. I will miss you a lot.”
Reading this my eyes were filled with tears and now I didn’t felt like going but he made me understand and asked me to concentrate on my career. I shifted to Pune and we both came in a long distance relationship.
As it is said, fairytales don’t last long and I was so unaware that even my fairytale is going to end soon. Initially everything was okay but as time flew we both started arguing, fighting with each other on small small topics. We both started blaming each other and even we broke up countless times. But, by end of the day we used to sort out things because we knew we can't live without each other.
Whenever I went to Mumbai(my hometown) I always first met him because I always missed him and just cant explain that how eagerly I always waited to meet him. But whenever we met there was only love and there was no fighting, arguing, nothing.
In 2016, he decided to go to Rajasthan where his family had recently shifted and decided to do his masters from there itself. When he told me this I didn’t want him to go so far away from me but we had no option because he had to go. Initially, we were in continuous touch with each other but later on even he got busy and we hardly spoke to each other and hence our fights increased and this time we didn’t even bother to clear our fights by the end of the day as well. And this was were our relationship started worsening.
This continued till 2017 but we were still in a relationship because we loved each other but our fights we not reducing. I started noticing a change in him or maybe he never changed but my perception made me think and this time we broke up and this was the time for 2 months we didn’t talk to each other. I felt so depressed and sad because I missed him a lot.
I started stalking him on social media. Whenever I got time, I used to see his photos but after a few days I started checking number of hearts on his photos and I noticed a girl who constantly on every photo of his sent hearts. Every photo of his, had a heart from her. This made me very possessive because he is very handsome(I forgot to mention this,but Yes he is very handsome and even when he was here many girls had a crush on him but I was not bothered because I knew he only loved me).
I started over reacting. I cried a lot every night because I missed him. After two months, he messaged me and we sorted out things and again we were together. I still remember that night when we sorted things out. We both cried a lot because we both missed each other.
In 2018, he got placed and started working and even I was working. We hardly had time to talk but whenever we spoke to each other, we only fought and blamed each other for all the wrong things that had happened in our relationship. In order to avoid arguments we both stopped contacting each other.
I started feeling that he ignores me, he is no more protective for me, no more loves me. I even started feeling that he feels awkward to meet me in public because I am no longer beautiful because there were many occasions where I was left alone by him when I needed him a lot, or maybe I am taking him wrong or not understanding him(I don’t know exact reason or its just my perception). All this things led to communication gap in our relationship.
Now things have changed. We both know that even if we want to be together and even when we are trying hard to work out on our relationship problems, we are not able to do so because for few days everything goes normal but again we start fighting and arguing. We literally tried our level best to hold on to each other but we are not able to do anything on this because we didn’t leave each other but because of long distance gap, love left us.
I really miss him and will never be able to forget him but cant do anything about it because its high time now and we can't keep fighting our whole lives. I always wanted to spend my life with him but this dream of mine will always be a dream now. I want to see him happy but he won't be happy if we are together.
Now, I just wish that to whomsoever he marries, she should not be like me who keeps on fighting with him. I know he deserves best and I was the worst phase of his life. I hope the girl with whom he will spend his life, should always keep him happy. I wish him all the best for his future endeavours.