ex sex drive lust moving on

I Beg Strangers To Act Like They Love Me Because Of This

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

I am a writer by passion and as everyone does for my day to day needs, I have a profession on hand.

I am a little emotional person. Of course I get easily attracted to guys and fortune has never allowed any guy to stay with me.

Men walk into my life, create hope, break them off and leave me in the middle. This has happened to me on a routine and I got the right cup of coffee one day. However later I realised that it's not the right one for me.

So right now, I feel like I haven't been in any relationship with guys. Either they need me to kill their time or to have an orgasm. Sometimes, I feel like I am not a love material and am meant only for lust. I can easily move on from each and every chapter of my life but the one that am reading right now holds me from moving on. It kills like anything.

I can not forget him. To forget him, I chat with strangers and sometimes I beg them at least to act like  they love me. At one point, I got addicted to sex. I would daily do sexting with someone who can make me forget my ex.

You may think why can't I go to my male friends. Of course I did and they called me to sleep with them so that I can forget my ex. I am a strong woman. I do shout at them and knock off their balls when needed. But, deep inside me a little girl is still waiting to taste the essence of one true love. And I get scared because am a cat on the wall that hasn't decided either to jump towards love or towards lust.

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