I was not the person who goes to temples often or prays regularly. But I always believe in karma, and I don't know why I consciously made the biggest mistake of my life.
I was brought up in a middle-class family, but my father always used to treat us beyond his capacity. I grew up in a very protective atmosphere under the shell of my parents.
My mother is a housewife, and I have always seen her support my father in every possible way. They struggled a lot, but they always chose to fight against everything together and made sure not to let those difficulties affect us.
But life had different plans for me... I have an older sister who got married at the age of 25. Hers was an arranged marriage, and her husband is well-educated, good-looking, and has a good family background.
Within a year of her marriage, he fled with someone else. He cut off all the contacts from her and left her with nothing. My family, including me, was bereaved and shattered. We still live in a society where only women are blamed for broken marriages.
Meanwhile, a friend I hadn't talked to in a while unexpectedly expressed romantic interest. This person is attractive, charming, and comes from a good family. The proposal came about eight months before my sister's wedding, but I wasn't open to being in a relationship then.
Upon his second proposal, I said yes without thinking much, as I had lost confidence in an arranged marriage. I doubted my ability to trust someone I had only known for a few days. I wanted to avoid finding myself in a situation similar to my sister's standing…
Everything was going smoothly between us. I was happy. Gradually, he revealed his true colours. He was extremely possessive and insecure. I lost all my friends and paid attention only to him, just to make sure that he felt important and loved.
As time passed, I secured a job and earned well while he was still struggling to clear his CA exams. Eventually, I came to the realisation that in trying to save the relationship, I was losing myself.
Even though I was better than him in every aspect, he always tried to disrespect me and made me feel that I was good at nothing and that everything I had was by luck and not because I deserved it.
But then he cheated on me with his ex. I broke up, and surprisingly, I felt like my soul breathed after a long time. I felt like I was a free bird. I gradually gained confidence in myself. I was very happy and free.
After a year or so, my parents decided to get me married. They started searching for an eligible boy. I was okay with it, thinking it would alleviate the burden on my parents, who were already dealing with my sister's problems and court cases. However, perhaps a love marriage was destined for me, as I found someone within my own caste.
Everything that was lacking in my past relationship, I found in him. It's not like I was comparing, but I felt happy that I got someone who understands me, and it felt like I got a reward for my past karma...
We were friends at first, but it didn't take us much time to fall in love. He loved me unconditionally and also had the courage to take a stand for me.
He could fight with anyone to marry me, and he has done the same. My family was unhappy about our relationship, even though we were of the same caste. They wanted my husband to be financially sound and well-educated. I tried to convince my family a lot. In fact, we tried to convince them, but they refused to accept our relationship.
Then, there was a point where we decided to give up—not on each other but on the family. I left my home and my parents. That is how we got married.
Surprisingly, within 24 hours of our marriage, my parents happily accepted us with much love. Everything was smooth sailing – both my parents and my husband's family relations were bonding nicely. We often met and enjoyed each other's company, but again, my happiness could not last long.
After our marriage, we now reside separately because my in-laws preferred not to leave their homes, and our jobs are in a different city. Due to daily household chores and tight job schedules, I somehow couldn't manage to stay connected with my friends, who had been the best support through thick and thin.
Whenever we had free time, my husband constantly made plans to meet his friends. And I didn't even realise that with each passing day, I lost the connection with my friends.
Now, here comes the turning point... He is working with an advertising agency. The culture of his office is pathetic. There is no single female staff member in his office, and the mentality of his colleagues, including his boss, is like they are anti-women.
They constantly harass my husband, labelling him as "JORU KA GULAM" and advising him not to share everything with me. According to them, as men, they should not value our opinions. They compare women to garbage pigs who love shit.
All this because he helps me with the housework despite both of us working.
He doesn't pay much attention to his colleagues' bullshit, but after all, he is a man. He is being tortured with the same bullshit a thousand times a day. Obviously, his frustration would be reflected. Gradually, he changed his behaviour towards me.
He makes me feel that, as a woman, I should always surrender. I have no right to live my life on my own terms. I should not have an opinion as I am a woman.
The person who couldn't leave me even for a single day is now going on trips with his colleagues. Leaving me all alone, partying with them…
The worst of them all is when he calls me under the influence of alcohol and hurls insults and claims things like “You don't deserve my love…”, “You don't value my love…”, “You are dumb, and you don't have a mind…” (I'm ahead of him in every aspect…he lied to me also about his income before marriage).
It has been eight months since our marriage... I am in a situation where I can't complain to anyone since I've lost all my friends who used to lend a listening ear. Additionally, I can’t approach my parents with my complaints, as I went against their wishes in marrying him. It seems like I’m being punished for hurting my parents’ sentiments. Karma has come back to me.