I was a very naive girl and an introvert when I was in school. I spent all my time studying and did not have many interactions with the outside world except for when I was with my cousins and family. My father was very close to my uncle and he would send me around to places with him. My uncle was a very nice person until I started getting small lumps on my chest, which were my breasts.
My breast grew pretty big in a couple of years. They were a handful. One day, my dad had sent me to the shop with my uncle and I sat behind him on the bike as usual. Every time there was a speed breaker, he would make sure he brakes real hard so I fall on him. I ignored it, considering it a common thing.
But this went on for a long time and one fine day, when I was on the bike sitting behind him, it was late evening and at a signal, he turned behind and squeezed my breasts and asked me what they were and why they were so soft. I got the shock of my life when he did it and I did not know how to react so I just remained shocked and silent.
From then onwards, every time he took me away from home, he would fondle with my breasts, give me money and ask me to buy chocolates for myself. I did not know whom to tell and I knew this wasn’t right and would create a rift in the family.
This went on for years. I feared to be with him and tried my best to avoid going out anywhere because he would come everywhere and so this left me anti-social. I could not trust any man ever since then, I resorted to watching porn a lot to get myself and my mind out of it and I started fantasizing about having sex with strangers and felt like it wasn’t wrong anymore, but I never really had the guts.
I’m 25 years old today and I still fantasize about unknown men, but I’m a virgin and every time a man makes his move, I am too scared to accept it and go ahead.
I feel like I’m stained for a lifetime because no one would accept a sexually abused girl if they know about it. My secret has remained a secret ever since, buried in my heart and haunts me every now and then.