I hated guys, all my life. Then, the love of life came and fixed it all up.
Ever since I was a child. I was quite an introvert. Failed seventh grade and my parents decided that only boarding school could improve me. They send me to the strictest one, ever.
I used to stay with my grandparents and my two cousins. My cousin sister was very kind and helpful but her older brother was the opposite.
One day, when we were alone, he tried to have sex with me. I was twelve back then and though I didn’t know much about sex, I knew something was wrong and ran away. The next time, I wasn’t so lucky, he locked the door.
This happened for months, and I never found the strength to speak out. Luckily, because of school, I wasn’t home around much.
One day, my aunt and uncle came to visit us. They ended up staying with us for days. My cousin brother told his mother that he had a huge crush on me. Now, I was thirteen.
My aunt lashed out on me. She called me a wh*re, tore my blouse, hit me and locked me up in a room without any food for a while day.
I was the only one who suffered, and still, I kept my mouth shut. The night, I made a promise to myself that I would marry a man who had the guts to fight for me, and stand by me.
Eventually, my cousin went back to Delhi, apparently, his parents didn’t want him in the same house as I was. I was beyond relieved.
I graduated high school and started going to college, although I still was an introvert and wasn’t keen on having anyone’s attention linger on me, least they think I needed counselling.
But of course, that didn’t go as per my plan. And eventually, I was asked to visit the counsellor. However, that didn’t end up being as bad as I had imagined.
I met a guy there, his name was J.J. and he was the hottest man in our college. His father had passed away recently, and his family’s situation wasn’t that great, financially. So he was suffering a lot.
J.J. and I ended up becoming friends, and eventually, one night, I proposed to him, but he politely refused. We still remained friends, though, and spoke through nights. In fact, his mother became a good friend of mine, too.
Things changed when my college hostel roommate started developing feelings for him. Out of pure spite, she told the warden that I was calling guys to my room at night and sleeping with them.
I did try to deny this because of course, this wasn’t true, but no one listened to reason, and eventually, my parents were called. I was The Bad Wh*re again.
This time, I decided to show them how bad I could truly be.
I was shifted out of my shared dorm room and into a single room next to the head matron’s office. And this time, I did exactly what I was accused of. I flirted with men, began dating some at my whim and fancy. Although I never met any that dared to sleep with me.
Eventually, my friend Sid, a bartender, told me I should try one-night stands. He even introduced me to a few websites.
I wasn’t in the mood to let this go. And so I met many different men, slept with some, flirted with some, ignored some and teased some. After all this weird and awkward f*cking, I still felt very empty.
By now, I had changed completely. I wasn’t the scared twelve-year-old introvert. I was a woman who loved to show off just how feminine I was. I was wearing tight clothes to enhance every bit of me and I loved the attention.
On one of these escapades, I met Rob (name changed). He was a divorcee and we ended up having a one night stand. Rob was amazing- in all aspects. He had honey-golden eyes, silky hair, was amazing in bed and rich.
Slowly, we started having more conversations instead of just sleeping together.
And that’s how I found out that he was married.
But that didn’t stop me. Weirdly, he began respecting me more.
It’s funny how your mind works, all these somersaults just to keep you happy.
I know Rob is my f*ck buddy, and nothing more, but we’re happy in each other’s company and slowly and steadily, he’s changing my perception of men. Ours is not a story that will get a happily ever after, but it’s all I need right now.