We had a love marriage. We almost dated for 9 long years despite opposition from my parents. I convinced them and got married to my boyfriend. I was just 23 and he was 29. I am more qualified than him. I was an independent woman and had grown up with a lot of pampering from my parents. I was an excellent student during my school and college days, a good employee in my organization.
I am considered a woman with a sweet nature and an obedient housewife, daughter and a wife. As I am my parent’s first child, we had a grand wedding. As soon as I got married, I realized that my in-laws are narrow-minded and orthodox, contrary to my parents. I was raised as an independent and broad-minded girl. However, at my in-laws' place, which is a joint family, I was never allowed to wear western clothes or to give my views. I was the only educated person in their whole family. I continued my job even though I had to plead with them for it. After a year of marriage, I was pregnant and gave birth to a beautiful baby boy.
By this time, things got tensed between my husband and me due to my in-laws. I was forced to do household chores in spite of my bad health during my pregnancy and after my delivery. I started to lose confidence in myself.
Then my husband and I decided to live separately (but not too far from my in-laws). We moved, and I was blamed for it. My mother-in-law thought I had hypnotized her son to live separately. Anyways, we started living a happy family life with our son. My husband is more of an outgoing person with a lot of friends. As he was a free bird now, he spent most of his time with his friends and at parties. I was left alone with my son and all the household duties. I was disconnected from the social world as I was too busy doing all the household chores. I had no time left for myself or for social networking. I had no time for friends. Still, I found happiness in these duties because I saw my son growing up so fast and
I was busy getting emotionally connected to him. However, I joined my office as soon as my son turned a year old. My mom looks after him.
I started to get back on track with my friends. I lost weight and was back in shape. I wore western clothes at the office. I became social again. I am getting a lot of attention from my office friends and colleagues. I am getting my confidence back. Now I am getting close to a friend whom I knew for more than 3 years. We haven’t met yet as it’s a long-distance relationship. We chat, we flirt, we share every detail of our lives with each other. I tell him things which my husband is also not aware of. I feel more attached to him as I am not getting the attention I need from my husband.
He makes me feel special, makes my day beautiful. I am still loyal to my husband, but I am getting attracted to my friend. He is single. I know we can’t meet but his attention towards me is getting me addicted towards him. I am confused whether what I am doing is right or wrong. But still, I am enjoying this phase of my life as I know he is the one who has time for me whenever I need him, unlike my husband. He brought my confidence back, the glow on my face is back. I had started to develop feelings for him and we have expressed our feelings to each other. But in the end, we know that it is not going to work as I am married, with a beautiful kid. And his parents will marry him off to a lady of his caste.
But I am not thinking about it now as sometimes we create our own heartbreaks through expectations.